Since everyone would rather ignore the fact that two blocks away is not ground zero and that terrorists attacked the World Trade Center, not Muslims, I thought it time to give up and try to help out a little. So I came up with 30 things main stream America might find more acceptable to put two blocks north of Ground Zero.

1. An ice cream shop that only serves vanilla.
2. A Rush Limbaugh memorial complete with his fat ass statue.
3. A GOP recruiting/converting station.
4. A permanent hall for all future republican national conventions.
5. School of white Christian evangelism.
6. World’s largest Christmas store. Sorry Bronner’s ):
7. Holy Bible printing facility – Only the English versions of course.
8. Christian Tattoo parlor. Heavenly angles and crosses galore.
9. Union hall dedicated to more Sabbath observance. Go Football!
10. A deli that only sells right chicken wings and requires a tithing commitment.
11. Politically correct night club. No cameras allowed and leave your wedding rings at the counter.
12. A buy only American novelty store. Everything’s made in China.
13. A big ass Baptism fountain.
14. Casino with a five year tax break.
15. Brand new hundred thousand watt Christian Radio Station.
16. Family restaurant with daily specials of hot dogs and apple pie.
17. An over seventies bingo hall.
18. Conspiracy theorists’ club house.
19. White trash rescue mission.
20. The Bill Clinton White House Sexual Museum. Have you seen the dress?
21. The New Testament Whiteness (oops, I mean Witness) Protection Company.
22. Don’t ask, don’t tell insurance agency.
23. The Caucasian Persuasion mega theater (unless you mop the floors).
24. Gourmet coffee shop where all types of tea are forbidden.
25. Covert anti-diversity training grounds. The ATG, branch of the Department of Homeland Security.
26. The White Folk Inn, we’ll leave the vibrating bed on for ya.
27. Canadian forgiveness center. We just want to be humble.
28. Private security/police service with the authority to boot out the wrong kind at will. Yep, that a be Black Water.
29. A racial profiling and patriot act acceptance (RaP-PAAC) center. It’s all in the name of national security.
30. And last but not least, home of the new Congressional White Caucus.

Once everything is in place, we can organize an annual White To Life Parade. Sorry, slip of the tongue, I meant Right To Life. We can have a giant Sarah Palin float. Won’t that be special?

Subtle Call To Action:
I’m sure there’s more than thirty, can you think of any? Or perhaps I’ve offended you. I certainly hope so. If so, don’t sit there like a sheep, set me straight!